Conditions:
Wednesday Mar 17	ZERO!!! No more Sarah Palin - No more Tiger Woods - No more Rahm Emanuel - No more rehab at The Mel Gibson Clinic -just golf, political and gender correctness, the opening-day two-person scramble, the after-golf inaugural meeting of the Sam Adams Party at Northwoods, the corned beef and cabbage for dinner and dancing till the wee hours with the Neverly Brothers. I'll see you on the course...I'll see you at Northwoods...and I'll see you on the dance floor, (maybe)!
Tuesday Mar 16	THREE - TWO - ONE...just one mere day until the 2010, new decade, St. Patrick's Day, opening-day, inagural meeting of the Sam Adams Party and the two-he/she/it-who must not be named-scramble. The forecast is great -sunny, calm and a high around 60 - and carts will be running. There is still time to register your team for the scramble or just come out and play. Tee slots are in hot demand so call the golf shop, 708-957-8700, for a tee time. It is official - Tiger's return to golf will be at The Masters so he will not be playing here tomorrow. British tabloids are reporting that Sarah has taken to wearing pill-box hats and may decide to live permanently in England because there are tea parties all the time. So, it's just you and me playing at Coyote Run...just the way I like it!
Monday Mar 15	JUST TWO MORE DAYS!!! Today in preparation for opening day, the world renown Coyote Run maintenance staff was on the course raking bunkers, cleaning up winter debris, installing tee signs, and mowing greens. The forecast for Wednesday looks great with temperatures in the upper 50's, sun and light winds. I turns out that the rumors were true and Sarah flew off to England for a tea party. Tiger's people have been talking to our people, but with Sarah in the U.K., odds are he will skip right to The Masters. Meanwhile, I have discovered that there is a recently organized grassroots movement called the Coffee Party. It seems that the Coffee Party is mad at the government for not responding to the votes of the citizenry, for being in bed with big business and because polititians are mean and self serving. The Tea Party is mad at the government because of high taxes, pork barrel spending, and birth certificates. They are also mad at the Coffee Party movement because they are copy-cats. I'm mad too! I'm mad that I don't realy fit into either movement so I have decided to start my own movement. It is named after Sam Adams, one of our founding fathers, a true patriot, an architect of the American Revolution and an actual organizer of the December 16, 1773 Boston Tea Party. So all of you like-minded individuals are invited for the inaugural meeting of the Sam Adams Party, in the bar at Northwoods, after the two-nondescript players - opening day - St. Patrick's Day - scramble. See you there!
Friday Mar 12	FIVE DAYS AND COUNTING!!! By this afternoon, Coyote Run Golf Course should be snow-free for the first time since December. With the lengthy snow cover, conditions were ideal for the occurrence of a fungal disease aptly named 'snow mold'. Snow mold primarily attacks the bentgrass turf that is the main component of our greens, tees and fairways. Last fall, a preventative fungicide was applied to the greens and tees so they are disease free. Since the fungicide is so costly and winter conditions in this area are rarely severe enough for the disease to occur, we do not treat the much larger acreage of the fairways. As a consequence, the fairways have a moderate amount of round patches where the snow mold damaged the leaf tissue. The disease is mostly cosmetic and patches will disappear once the grass starts growing again. The medium-range weather forecast is looking even better for our St. Patrick's Day opening with temperatures predicted to be in the mid-50's with sun. In other news...Rahm Emanuel has not been seen in Washington since our shower room encounter. Various inside sources have Tiger coming out of the exile closet at Bay Hill or The Masters or The Coyote Run, St. Patrick's Day, Two-Gender-Unspecified Individuals opening-day scramble. New rumors have Sarah Palin skipping out on the scramble and flying off to England, (is that anywhere near Russia?), where, she hears, afternoon tea parties are all the rage.
Thursday Mar 11	So...I'm standing in the shower at the Racquet and Fitness Club and all of a sudden Rahm Emanuel is standing in front of me, poking a finger in my chest and telling me in an profanity-laced diatribe that allowing Sarah Palin to play with Tiger in the opening day, two man, (yes he said man), scramble was a big mistake. He went on and on and on about how she didn't deserve the world-wide notoriety she would get from playing with Tiger at Coyote Run's world-famous event. So I calmly said, "Look Rahm, pull yourself together. I can recommend a great little clinic in Mansfield Ohio where you can work out your gender-neutrality issues. Sarah and Tiger are playing and that's that!" Meanwhile at back at Coyote Run...The official Coyote Run digital rain gauge recorded .24" of precipitation from this morning's storms and the official temperature at 11:00AM is 53.8 degrees. Wiley, our goose dog extraordinaire is currently sporting an Elizabethan collar, not as a fashion statement, but because he had an injury near his mouth, (possibly caused by a muskrat), that required stitches. The collar is a plastic cone that makes it impossible to scratch and damage the itchy stitches. The long-range forecast is still rosy with a prediction of 53 degrees and sun for next Wednesday's opening day. BTW...get in line today with the other thousand people for your free small ice cream cone at Homewood Dairy Queen's/King's opening day.
Wednesday Mar 10	Let me tell ya how all that politcally-correcty/gendery-neutrally stuff is working out for me...I feel like a new woman/man. The current, (1:20PM), outside temperature on the brand new, official Coyote Run digital thermometer/rain gauge is 61 degrees...the first temperature over 60 of the year. With today's 11 hours and 40 minutes of daylight and day-length increasing by 2 minutes and 47 seconds per day, the spring equinox, (12 hours of daylight and 12 hours of dark), is rapidly approaching. The current 10-day forecast calls for 47 degrees and sunny conditions for the St Patrick's/St Patricia's Day, opening two-entities scramble. There must be some truth to the Tiger/Sarah rumors...this morning the golf shop got a call from Elin asking for background checks and pictures of the entire Northwoods and Coyote Run staffs and insiders at Fox News have disclosed that Sarah is already tired of the punditry gig and is looking for some time off for St. Pat's Day. Could the rumors actually be true?
Tuesday Mar 9	I couldn't update the blog yesterday because I spent the day at the Mel Gibson Clinic celebrating International Women's Day and finishing the twelve step rehab program prior to last night's graduation ceremony. That's right...I'm all politically-correct now, although I will have to attend weekly meetings to help me stay on the wagon. Rumor has it that Tiger, who it turns out does enjoy corned beef and cabbage, is working with a swing-coach and will be back on tour soon. We are still waiting to hear if he will restart his career at Coyote Run and if he and Sarah are an item again for the opening day, two-individual scramble to be held next Wednesday, A.K.A., St Patrick's Day. The wait-people at Northwoods are holding their breath. Meanwhile, the signs of spring continue to abound - almost all of the snow and ice on the course have melted, just two days until the Homewood Dairy Queen/King opens, daylight saving time begins next Sunday, the first robins were sighted today, and the Coyote Run ground's staff have spent their first day out on the course getting ready for next week's opening day.